How Body Positivity Helped Me Accept My Disability
Social media often gets a bad reputation for many things. And on the surface I can see why: we are constantly bombarded with the image of the perfect looking girl sitting on a beach in Bali, or the girl who looks like she has everything in her life so together and you think, that’s not me. I’ll tell you why that isn’t you, because, more often than not, what we are being shown is far from the true reality – a highlight reel, if you will.
Now, for me, the scrolling of social medias is a little bit different. I see all of those things on Instagram, and even though I know logically that Instagram is extremely well-curated, I fall into the trap of feeling like I’m not thriving the way they seem to be. It’s the vicious comparison loop all over again. I have come to accept my disability and through that have accomplished many things in my life that I don’t think I would have if my situation wasn’t what it is. But here’s the thing: I never saw a girl in a wheelchair on a beach in Bali on my feed. I never saw anyone in a wheelchair on my feed at all, in fact. Then I came to find the body positive movement through Instagram; it was like the heavens had opened and all there was was eternal sunshine.
Finally, I saw women in wheelchairs living their best lives, having children, starting businesses and just being happy. This was like a whole new world for me. If at eight years old, I had been able to see that other women were in wheelchairs too and living their lives to the fullest, I think I would have a more peaceful and centred perception of my disability from an earlier age. One thing I found really quite amazing was that for the first time, I was reading captions that were eloquent, honest and a true reflection of what it is like to be a woman with a disability. I would often find myself weeping and nodding. Finally, someone gets it. I felt understood. I wasn’t as alone in my experiences as I once thought.
I always talk about positive representation of disabilities and many people don’t seem to understand what I mean by this. Then, when I tell them that it took me until I was 21 to read a book where there was a disabled main character and his disability wasn’t the main plot point, they look at me in shock. Yeah, I know. The book was called The Christmasaurus by Tom Fletcher. I remember reading this book to my niece, who was three at the time, and when she saw the illustrations of a boy in a wheelchair, she looked at me, grinned and said, “He’s like you.”
Those three words are why positive representation is so important. Because if disability is not seen by the younger generation as taboo, those with disabilities have a better chance of people not asking if they can have children, if they can drink or if they date. Through the body positive community, I also saw women of different shapes and sizes that were not on diets, did not show hate for their bodies but celebrated the fact that their bodies were here and that was enough for them to be validated. The hatred of my body is something that I could so easily relate to, and before finding the body positive movement I easily let myself fall into it. Growing up is hard enough as it is was, without adding a glaringly obvious piece of equipment to show that I was different. When you’re a teen, all you want is to fit in. I never did fit in, but that was okay, because eventually I found friends who didn’t care about my disability and only cared about me as a person, which I have to say is the best criteria for finding good friends.
Ten years later and I feel much more at peace with my life, my body, and my situation. I used to see my wheelchair as the enemy, and one of my very good friends who was also in a wheelchair said to me, “Your wheelchair is your best friend, Maisie.” It only took someone else in the same situation as me to say it such simple terms for me to understand that they were right. To some, my disability may limit me (and I would fight hell and high water just to prove them wrong) but to me, my disability has given more than it has taken away. It has given me wonderful people who are quite literally by my side every day, the gift of gratitude, because, although my body may not be the best, it is here and keeps going, despite all the challenges it puts me through. It survived when no one – including my doctors – thought it would. The most important thing I ever learned from my disability was that you need grit and determination to get whatever you want out of your life, whether you are disabled or not. Body positivity has given me the confidence to own my circumstances and to not feel like I have to be any different than I already am to be happy, and for that, I am so grateful.
Image credit: Disabled and Here
