Humpday: 7 On-Screen Magical Relationships Which, In Hindsight, Were The Actual Worst
If you luuurve films and TV like I do, you will have seen many and most of the popular and classics and seen many of the greatest love stories and romances played out in front of you. I've had it happen where I have loved certain films and shows and re-watched them many years later, only to find that I’m, well, disappointed. These aren’t the great loves that I remember. These are actually really problematic! If I had a relationship like some of them I would screaming Bye, Felicia as I run in the opposite direction to befriend Bridget Jones.
Here are the top seven relationships which I don't by any manner of means want mirrored in my love life (Also, note: Spoiler alert for most descriptions, and for some reason many storylines involve almost incest.):
1. Carrie and Big (Sex and the City)
On-again. Off-again. Cheating on their partners (one of whom was married) with each other. Being jilted at the altar. Getting married then cheating with the ex-fiancé. The ‘universe’ tried to tell them many times that they just weren't right for each other. Yet they somehow made it through…
2. Rachel and Ross (Friends)
Let’s face it: she was always too good for him. Not because he was the geek and she was popular and pretty. But because she was ambitious and promiscuous and he just always seemed to hold her back. He was possessive, jealous, amongst many other things. She wasn’t perfect, but their life values just didn’t align. He was not her lobster. They were not on a break. And even if they were, you don’t sleep with someone else the day after. She should’ve stayed on the damn plane.
3. Cher and Josh (Clueless)
They are ex-step siblings. Although her Dad and his mum were only married for five years and the start of the film mentions their current divorce settlements, she is still in school, so Josh was seeing her grow up as a tween. Which begs the question, did he always have feelings for her and repress it (gross to think about), or was it genuinely a built up romance after becoming estranged family members not related by blood (so your ex-stepdad becomes your father-in-law)?
4. Catherine and Sebastian (Cruel Intentions)
Once again with the family members. Step-siblings who use sex to toy with each other. They’ve never quite put P in V, but there has always been the passive aggressive flirting, the manipulation and the outside-clothes rubbing. Someone call Social Services?
5. Serena and Dan (Gossip Girl) *Spoiler*
And once more for the people in the back. From dating to step-siblings to ex-step-siblings to dating. With all the drama and potential cheating in between. Plus she then marries the guy who you find out has been bullying her online (and the whole gang of the Manhattan Elite) since she was 14 years old. Erm, did she just forget the whole premise of what Gossip Girl was? GG was the cause of most of the drama in the first place!
6. Sandy and Danny (Grease)
Some people say, Hey, it was set in the '50s! It was a different time! but I have to overlook this because regardless of which era it is set, this film is huge and seen by people of all ages and regarded as iconic. After spending a whole summer in love, Danny pretends he doesn’t know her in front of his friends, tells them all about their love life anyway to brag, literally swaps her for another girl at a dance, all of which makes Sandy think she’s the one that needs to change herself completely to make him attracted to her. I will give Danny his due, he also did try to change too, but that defeats the point of loving someone for who they are. That Summer Lovin' can stay in the '50s.
7. Marge and Homer (The Simpsons)
It’s animated and supposed to be a bit slap-stick comedy, but I’m surprised that Marge hasn’t face palmed so hard by now that hair has gone flat. Am I right?
Maybe instead of complaining about it, we should be breathing a sigh of relief that our love lives aren't like something out of a movie?
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Happy Humpday.
